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Extreme Dad

小時候，我對每個秋季都充滿興奮和期待，因為秋季意味著新學(xué)期的開始和新朋友的到來。但是，我對于男孩子們之間常常相互詢問的一個問題卻沒有任何期待之情，這個問題就是：“你爸爸是做什么工作的？”一些人可能已經(jīng)不記得讀書期間被問過這個問題，但是這個問題對我來說，卻有一定的分量。我父親是好萊塢的一名特技演員，最近剛剛退休。我還是個孩子的時候，他一周之內(nèi)做過的玩命的事情比我一輩子做的都多。他那份不同尋常的工作和活力四射的生活方式讓他成為我們鎮(zhèn)上最酷的爸爸，我不能辜負他響亮的名聲呀。

對于美國男孩來說，沒有一塊木板是安全的，因為它的斜面可以被用于各種冒險游戲。我們會把幾塊木板疊放在一塊空心磚上，然后看看木板的一端能夠把坐在自行車或者滑板上的我們彈多高。這個游戲太有趣了，足夠我們玩好幾年也不會覺得膩。但是，爸爸的名氣最終給我?guī)�來了小麻煩。很快，他們就希望來點兒更瘋狂的嘗試：自制一個發(fā)射臺。他們催促我去找爸爸幫忙。起初我不同意，因為我可不想在我們街區(qū)帶頭玩冒險游戲。誰知道街對面的老太太會怎么想呢？

結(jié)果，對于向我朋友們傳授點兒特技這件事，爸爸比我熱心多了。他建議說與其造一個大滑坡，不如在我家后院那棵大黃松上造一個平臺，這樣我們可以用根繩子從上面滑下來。雖然我覺得這個主意太瘋狂了，但還是向爸爸做了讓步。他總喜歡說那句陳詞濫調(diào)：“相信我，我可是專業(yè)人士�！庇谑�，那個下午，我和我的朋友們還有爸爸一起上了卡車，向伐木場駛?cè)�。去的路上，我也開始覺得在我家后院建繩索速降臺這個主意挺不錯。朋友們的興奮之情溢于言表，畢竟，他們要在一個真正的特技演員的監(jiān)督下做一件瘋狂的事情！

爸爸快速靈活地穿行在伐木場的過道上，敏捷的身手令人震驚不已。在等待切割木板的空檔，他往手推車上放了各種讓小男孩著迷的材料：釘子，螺釘，膠水，鐵鏈，纜繩，螺母和螺栓。這應(yīng)該是我和朋友們第一次用這些閃閃發(fā)亮的嶄新材料建造東西。毫無疑問，這將成為鎮(zhèn)上最驚險最棒的特技�；氐郊乙院�，我們把車上的所有材料都卸到了松樹附近�？粗�車尾的行李箱，我和朋友們都覺得這些建筑材料真是酷斃了，但是卻不知道該怎么把它們弄到樹上去。這時候，爸爸從車庫走出來�！斑@是最后一件了，”他手里拿著一根攀登安全帶和繩索，“現(xiàn)在我要爬上去造這個平臺了。你們可以挑兩個人上來幫我遞東西。”接下來的一個鐘頭里，我們目瞪口呆地坐著看爸爸忙活。爸爸將繩索的一端纏在雙臂上，緊緊系好，然后踩著兩個攀登器慢慢向上爬。不一會兒，他就爬到了

樹杈處。站穩(wěn)以后，爸爸將一段繩子放下來。“將6毫米的鉆頭給我吊上來�！彼�喊道。我們把鉆頭準備好，然后系到繩子上。爸爸把鉆頭吊上去，用它在樹上打了幾個螺栓孔。我們就這樣一點點往上送東西。螺栓，螺母，最后終于輪到了木板。

爸爸用閃電般的速度搭建著平臺。他擰螺絲的速度之快，讓我一個朋友看得目瞪口呆。不久之后，爸爸對我們說一切就緒，可以進行“初步測試”了。我不知道他這樣說是什么意思。“向后退，伙計們�！卑职趾暗�。我們趕緊照做。爸爸站在平臺上，他站得那么高，看起來卻很舒服的樣子。盡管知道他身上還綁著安全帶，我們還是不由自主地為他感到緊張害怕。爸爸好像對自己的工作很滿意，就踮起腳輕快地跳了幾下。平臺紋絲不動。接下來，他又大幅度地上下跳了幾次，平臺被震動了，連樹枝都跟著搖晃起來。不過，平臺看起來建造得很牢固安全�！昂昧耍�讓我們學(xué)習(xí)如何用繩索下來吧�！�

爸爸用繩子從上面滑下來，然后把我們召集到車庫的閣樓里。那個地方我去過幾次，覺得一點兒也不好玩。不過，這次爸爸從那個古老的壁櫥后面拿出一個滿是灰塵的黑色箱子。以前，我從來沒有見過它。爸爸從里面取出繩索和安全帶，接著是登山索和下降裝置。我們急切地把這些裝備接過來，然后拿到后院。爸爸給我們系好安全帶，又臨時給我們上了一堂安全課，主要是關(guān)于攀爬和下降時候需要注意的安全事項。在房頂上練習(xí)了幾個小時以后，我們已經(jīng)做好充分的準備去挑戰(zhàn)后院那棵大松樹了。

Extreme Dad

As I was growing up, each autumn brought with it the excitement of a new school year and new friends. However, I did not look forward to the inevitable question young boys pose to one another:“What does your dad do?”Some people cannot remember being asked that question in school, but it bears special weight for me. My father is recently retired from his career as a Hollywood stunt performer. When I was a child,he would do more death-defying tricks in a week than I’m sure I will ever do in my lifetime. My father’s extreme career and energetic lifestyle made him the coolest dad in town, and I had to live up to him.

For American boys, no piece of plywood is safe: it has “ramp”written all over.We would prop some plywood up on a cinderblock and see how high it could launch us on a bike or skates. That was sufficiently fun for years, but eventually my father’s reputation caught up with me. Soon, my friends wanted to go bigger with the idea of a homemade launch pad. They urged me to seek my father’s help. At first, I resisted, since I didn’t want to start a trend of hair-raising stunts on my neighborhood street.

Who knows what the old lady across the street would think?As it turned out, my father was more eager than I was to introduce some stunts to my group of friends. Instead of building a giant ramp, he suggested, why not build a platform high in the ponderosa pine tree out back from which we could rappel to the ground? It sounded crazy to me, but I yielded to my father. He loved the cliche appeasement. “Trust me; I’m a professional. ”So, that afternoon, my friends, father,

and I piled in the truck and headed for the lumberyard. By this time, I was starting to warm to the idea of a rappelling platform in my backyard. My friends could hardly contain their excitement. After all, they were about to do something crazy under the supervision of a real stuntman.

My father cruised the aisles at the lumberyard with amazing deftness and efficiency.

As he waited for some plywood to be cut, he filled his cart with all kinds of materials that little boys love: nails, screws, glue, chain, cable, nuts, and bolts. This would be the first time my friends and I had built anything out of shiny, new parts. No doubt this would be the most awesome stunt in town.

When we returned home, we unloaded all of the supplies near the base of the tree. Looking up the trunk, my friends and I realized we had a lot of cool building materials but no way to get them up the tree. At that moment, my dad emerged from the garage.“Here’s the last piece. ”He held a climbing harness and rope in his hands. “Now I’m going to go up there and build the structure, then two of you can come up and help with the rigging. ”For the next hour, we sat in stunned silence. My father threw one end of his rope around an upper limb, secured it, and started the slow process ofdrawing on the two mechanical ascenders. Before long, he had reached the notch in

the tree, braced himself, and sent down a length of cord to us. “Put a quarter-inch bit in the drill and send it up. ”he cried. We prepared the drill and tied it to the line.

My father hoisted it and bored the boltholes into the tree. We repeated this process with two-by-fours, bolts, nuts, and finally the plywood square that would become this platform. My father built it with lightning speed. One of my friends gaped at how quickly my father could drive screws. Before long, Dad called down saying everything was finished and ready for“preliminary testing. ”I didn’t know what he meant by that. “Stand back, guys. ”my dad called. We hastily obliged. My father, already standing on the platform, looked strangely comfortable so high in the ponderosa tree.Granted, he was still in his harness roped to the tree, but nerves have a funny way of ignoring appeals to logic. Satisfied with his handiwork, my dad began bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet. The platform didn’t budge. Next, he started jumping up and down violently. This shook the platform and made the tree sway, but everything seemed soundly built and tightly secured. “All right, now we learn to rappel. ”

My father slid down his rope and called us to join him in the attic of the garage.I had only seen what was up there a few times, and it mostly bored me. Behind an old armoire, though, was a dusty black trunk that I had never see before. My father began pulling ropes and harnesses from it, then carabiners and rappelling devices. We eagerly grabbed the equipment and took it to the backyard. My father fit us for the harnesses and began an impromptu lesson on the critical safety rules of climbing and rappelling.

In a few hours and after a little practice off the roof of the house, we were all ready to tackle the huge tree in the back yard.